Copyrighted Kristen Banet All rights reserved.
Reupload from original Facebook post
*Like all POVs, completely unedited, first draft state. Please excuse any typos and also contains possible spoilers to the characters and stories. *
He woke up when he felt her leave the bed since he was a bit of a light sleeper. Anything moving woke him up. He wasn’t going to say anything.
Then he heard how Sawyer was moving around, frantic, making noise. He frowned, pushing himself up. What was wrong?
“Sawyer?” he called out. She turned and glared at him, and he quickly realized everything was very wrong.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” she snarled. “I’m going to kill you for what you did.”
“What?” he looked genuinely baffled. He felt the blood rush from his head, leaving him somewhat dizzy. He was very awake now. What had he done?
Her eyes seemed somewhat vacant. It felt like she wasn’t looking at him.
No. Not me. Him. My fucking brother did this.
“Sawyer,” he mumbled. “Oh, no. It’s me, Sawyer. Vincent.” He tried to say it calmly, hoping it would break her out of the flashback. That’s what this was. He looked just enough like his brother, thanks to the Castello stamp of coloring, that she woke up and thought he was Axel.
She jumped for him and he did the only thing he could. He couldn’t let her get hands on him, so he sublimated out of her reach.
She froze after she landed back on the bed.
He reformed behind her and gently touched her. He felt like his good night was shattered. He figured hers was now as well. Whatever comfort they had found together was over. He had to help her. Already he could feel her falling apart, something about her tough shell crumbling down.
This is all his fault. I can’t believe he would ruin someone so thoroughly. I can’t fucking believe it. And her. Tough, strong.
How does someone do this to someone else? I just…
“Vincent,” she gasped. “Oh god…”
“It’s okay,” he told her gently. This wasn’t her fault. “It’s okay.” She whimpered and his heart broke into thousands of little pieces. “It’s okay,” he whispered again, pulling her into his lap. “I’m sorry. It’s okay. I’m sorry I frightened you.”
He meant every fucking word. He never thought this would happen. He would have never stumbled into bed with her if this was the outcome. He would have never put her through this.
She cried softly as the flashback wore off and he just kept holding, hoping it mattered. He rocked her in his lap slowly, running a hand through her hair. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew what he could say.
I hate you, Axel Castello. With every fiber of my fucking being right now. How could you do this to her?
“I’m so fucking sorry for all he’s done to you,” he mumbled into the top of her head. He gave her the honest truth, hoping bearing his soul to her after would somehow help. “I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to make it right, Sawyer. I’ll give you anything to fix it.”
“It’s not your fault,” she finally choked out. It took a long time for those words to come out and he didn’t believe them for a moment.
“Yes, it is,” he whispered, broken and sad. He had to tell her. He’d never wanted to tell her. “Because I was supposed to be his assassin. I was supposed to do the work he molded you for.” He swallowed another bitter pill, hoping she understood. Hoping she realized that she was only ever in Axel’s line of sight because of him. He needed to tell her. “I should have been there when he found out about Henry. I should have been there to protect the boy. You should have lived a normal life. I should never have run off and convinced the WMC to let me join the IMPO. I should have stayed with Axel and destroyed him from the inside. I should have just killed him there.” Vincent continued, unable to stop now.
“He came into his powers and went a bit mad with them,” he whispered in Italian now. He always fell back to it. “And I idolized him. He never looked at me and saw my magic; just his brother. Or so I thought. He didn’t think I was some rising star in the family. Then he played with words the way he was so good at doing… and he convinced me to kill our father. He took advantage of that and began amassing his own power. He wanted me to go with him, but I had never wanted to be a criminal like the rest of my family… so I ran.”
And he needed to find someone else to his killing. So he went out and found you. Fuck, I hate myself so much right now. I hate him. I had no idea he was capable of this much evil. I promise. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered again.
“Yes, it is,” he said again in response. Vincent was quickly realizing she didn’t want to talk to him, and he stopped trying to force it. She was just a body in his lap, a shaking one. He should let her go. She probably couldn’t handle him or anything else right now. Now he felt like an ass. “Do you want to go?”
“I think I should,” she mumbled. She didn’t move, though. She stayed wrapped up in his arms. He didn’t mind it for a moment.
“We shouldn’t have done this,” he groaned softly, burying his face in her hair. God, he had such regrets now. Not about the problems on the team that could come.
No, he only regretted that this had somehow hurt her. That it had betrayed just how deep the wounds his brother gave her were and he was confronted with every reality he never wanted.
He cared for the enigmatic, tough, dangerous woman, and his brother had fucking broken her. She was so strong because she lived a life of taping up the pieces.
And doing this had hurt her.
“We should tell everyone… no secrets in the team and such,” she sighed, leaning into him.
“We will,” Vincent sighed with her. He wasn’t going to argue, since he agreed with her. Secrets, at this point, would only spell problems for the team, which was in a state of flux already. “I’ll take Elijah and Quinn… you deal with your friends.”
“Thanks,” she huffed weakly. “They’re your friends, too.”
“They are. You’re still shaking,” he noted, pulling back slightly. He didn’t like that. Was she still scared of him?
“I will be for a moment until the adrenaline runs its course,” she informed him, then finally broke out of his lap. She was a bit wobbly, and he reached out to steady her. He hoped she wouldn’t go, but know she would. It was for the best, really. She pulled out of his reach. She collected her clothing and gave him a sad smile. “Good night, Vincent.”
“Good night, Sawyer,” he called after her as she left the room.
He sat there for a long time and decided he couldn’t sleep. Tears welled up in his eyes.
He couldn’t believe that by existing he could hurt someone. He couldn’t believe that by trying to save himself from Axel’s evil, he’d doomed someone even more vulnerable to it.
And she had been vulnerable, if she was sixteen when she met him. Just a fucking innocent teenage girl.
He should have fucking known, though.
Guilt weighed in on him. She told him it wasn’t his fault, but he’d meant what he’d told her.
“I need a fucking cigarette,” he mumbled, standing up. He found clothing and walked out, lighting a cigarette before he even made it out of the house.
He sat down and chain smoked.
He meant every word of what he’d said.
He’d give her anything. He would do anything.
Anything to help repair and replace the damage his brother had done.
Because Vincent had been too much of a coward to deal with the problem long before she’d gotten dragged into it.
And damn it. He cared about her too much now.
Anything.
Axel, I will do anything and everything to fix this. Then I’m going to make sure you never fucking hurt her again, even in death.