The title says it all. I’ve been missing most of the month. Let’s do the Big Serious Thing first, I guess. I’m going to keep comments on this blog away from global geopolitical topics except for one thing. My heart goes out to Ukraine.
This is an update and does not include all the details. Please do not comment with medical advice.
On February 11th, I had an EMG done. Results came in pretty quickly and I’ve been reckoning with what is going to happen next.
For sure: I have a severely compressed nerve in my elbow. Based on readings and muscle loss (I have signs of neurogenic muscle atrophy in my left hand), the nerve has probably been compressed for a few years. Why didn’t I notice sooner? Well, there’s probably a couple of reasons, but let’s boil it down to the symptoms weren’t noticeable enough to scare/worry me. I went to doctors as soon as I realized something serious was happening and resting for a couple of weeks wasn’t enough.
At my follow up, I spoke to an amazing specialist who gave me the truth honestly. The symptoms are at the point where the only recourse is elbow surgery. I’m beyond the point that physical therapy, rest, bracing, etc, will prove helpful. I’ve been beyond that point since the symptoms started in January.
I don’t have a surgery date yet. I’ve never been in surgery before, so that scares me a little, but overall, I feel fine.
There’s a few good things about this situation. It’s a fast surgery, taking less than two hours. I’ll be in and out on the same day. It’s a low risk surgery. I’ll be getting it done by someone who specializes in these issues. They surgery, if I handle aftercare correctly, will stop my symptoms from getting worse and save what is left of the nerve function (unless I screw it up later).
Bad news? It might not “cure” me. I might not get back all of the feeling in my hand. I might not be able to rebuild the muscle mass I lost in the hand (thanks to other muscles that compensate for the atrophy). Does this mean I shouldn’t do the surgery? No. It means I should because getting worse and what comes with it is that bad. We don’t know how to make nerves heal. That’s okay. But it also means I need to save what I can right now before I end up with something like entire loss of function of two fingers or more.
Surgery also means 2 weeks without use of my left arm and then light use until the doctor says I’m ready to go back to normal. Comes at a really bad time, but this is life. I do this now and I hopefully save myself from worse problems later.
That’s all I got. I’ll give you another update on this when I’m ready.
On to better news:
When I get REALLY STRESSED OUT, I find some project I wanted to do and I do it. Even if its not what I was supposed to be working on. It gives me a small sense of control, and satisfaction to finish a “smaller” project when I feel like I’m spiraling and losing control over my life.
So I did my Jacky Leon Recover Project. (I’m hoping this is the last one)
I’ve only done the ebooks. Like Kaliya, hold on for the print editions. They’re not live. I will tell everyone when all the covers are caught up.
Why did I do new covers for Jacky Leon? Well, the fact is: I got a lot better over the last year at covers and I was… very frustrated making Jacky Leon covers that didn’t match my current skill level. This was hardest when I did the first Bitter Discord cover in December, trying to match Jacky’s old covers and hold myself back. It was just really awful. I didn’t like the Bitter Discord cover so much that looking at it made me upset and it made me unexcited about the book.
So enjoy the news covers! One thing I kept was the Jacky Rainbow. I could never pick a “color scheme” for her like other series, so early on, I decided the books would rotate through the color wheel. With there being 8 books out, you can see how it plays out (5 books get through the color wheel. We’ll do it 3 times when the series is over.)
That’s all I have. March 1, I’ll post what Patreon will have. There’s been some changes thanks to health reasons. There will continue to be changes as I work to get through the surgery and heal correctly.